Feeling Overwhelmed? Let's Chat.

For those of us who are in college trying to get that Bachelors Bread (copyright pending), winter is a weird time. It's a fresh start from whatever you left behind in Fall semester, but stressful because you have major burn-out from Fall semester and you only got somewhere around 3-4 weeks to recharge and re-motivate yourself which coincidentally coincided with one of the biggest Judeo-Christian holidays of the year which for some means dealing with tricky family relations, traveling, shortage on $$$ and other stress inducing factors. My point is, for a break it's not very rejuvenating and if you're anything like me you hit a wall rather quickly right around the 3-4 week of the new semester where you feel overwhelmed by school, work, relationships, money, and really everything else. Let's fix that, shall we?

Step One: Take a big 'ol breath. (No, really... like now)

Lemme break this down for you, science style. When you take a deep breath what you're actually doing adding to the supply of oxygen you've accumulated, when you do that you stimulate your parasympathetic nervous system which is responsible for slowing down your heart rate, increases your glandular and intestinal activity, as well as relaxes the sphincter muscles in your intestines (yay pooping!). All of this contributes to a relaxed heartrate and an overall feeling of peace. Even better, this works on any muscle.

When I was a little kid I used to be terrified of needles. This made doctor's visits a traumatic experience for all beings unfortunate enough to be involved. To remedy the situation, my mom used to tell me to "Yoga Belly Breathe". At the tender age of 5 I thought she was totally making this up but it turns out my mom used to practice a particular form of yoga called Kundalini which in practice involves a particular form of breathing that focuses on alternating breathing between one nostril and the next. This helped me calm down enough to stop tensing up every time the nurse brought her butterfly needle my way.

Step Two: Grab a pen and a pad of paper.

I personally suggest lined paper but whatever you can find will do (I've even used a napkin in a pinch!) Next draw a line vertical line down the middle of your page. Label the left column "Goods" and the right column "Bads". You can do this in any order but I think it works best if you start with the "Goods" column and begin by jotting down everything good that has happened to you in the past 48 hours. This can be everything from "I got a puppy" to "I found the missing pair to my sock today". It doesn't necessarily need to be profound. Just something somewhat positive that happened to you recently. Challenge yourself! The first 5 are easy, but after that when you are stressed and feeling down it can take some creativity to find the hidden gems that are actually present in your day to day life. My goal every time is to try to fill up a whole side with positive things.

Whenever you run out of things to write about, shift over to the next column where you can list all your grievances with life. Again, the goal isn't to be poetic and heartfelt, rather to just get it out there. Anything is acceptable, I've written everything from "my childhood pet passed away" to "the vending machine was out of diet coke" so don't feel like your "bads" aren't "bad" enough. As a general rule of thumb, if it came to mind it must have bothered you enough to be thought of, it deserves a spot on the list. All done? Great, onto the next bit.

Step Three: Flip over your paper

Now for the heavy lifting! In the spirit of keeping things organized you are going to label the top of this section with "What Do I Have Control Over?"

Sometimes this can be the hardest part so I recommend not overthinking it. The key is to write your statements in "I can" format.

For instance. if you look at the example I will attach here you can see that some of my "I cans" are as simple as "I can phone a friend" or "I can stress bake" The goal is to take your "bads" and find ways you can work on some of them in a manageable, sizable, and feasible ways that seem less intimidating. You don't have to feel pressured to find a solution to EVERY problem on your list, just the ones that are really in your control. If you feel like you are getting stuck it might not be a bad idea to set a timer on your laptop or computer for 1 minute and 30 seconds and just list as much as you can until the timer runs out. (the Pomodoro love here is very real, but that's for a different blog post). Once you are done take another deep breath. Some people like to take their handiwork and tack it above their study space, on their bathroom mirror, above their bed, while others simply crumple it into a ball and toss it in the trash bin when they're done. There is no wrong move here, just do what feels right for you.

Remember this whole process shouldn't take longer than 6 minutes to complete. You want to move hurriedly, as not to focus on the negatives, but to quickly jot them down and remove them from your head so you can use your head space for something more important. (Like cute puppy videos, or chemistry!) When in doubt keep it short, and as always- Keep calm and carry on.

1-21-2019